Cheating for Dummies

I was asked to write about cheating from a man’s perspective. It is a controversial subject with passionate opinions coming from both sides. The argument as to which sex commits the offense  more often varies, but that’s to be expected. Cheating can be physical, emotional, or both in some instances. Some people might prefer one over the other, in a worse case scenario, but a wrong is a wrong no matter what label you put on it.


I can admit that I cheated on past girlfreinds. In some cases, with future girlfriends, but that’s not the point.  There was a time when the only opinion that mattered was my own; what would make me happy was my only agenda.  I used to make the mistake of jeopardizing potential long-term happiness for personal satisfaction. To give another reason would be lying.

The irony is that no matter how unpersonal we as men think it is, it is extremely personal for our significant other.  There comes a point that has to change how you think about your actions. How would I have felt if my girl cheated on me? I would have been upset, but honestly would not have had any right to be.

Some people will say they cheat because they want variety, intimacy, or there is a lack of communication; sit down together and watch a random (variety) romance (intimacy) movie then. Talk out whatever issues you feel, even if you do not equate them as important, because chances are if you’re thinking it, your significant other is as well.

As a man now, I can reflect back and see that I met and had the blessed fortune of being friends with some incredible women. Now I won’t say all men cheat or that all women cheat because using such terminology is being over dramatic. What I will say, is that I know men do it, and probably more often than women because of the innate and cavemanish satisfaction that comes from attention. Opportunity and insecurity is all it takes for a person to make a mistake that affects everyone involved.

Looking back, it took time to learn and grow. I had to learn about being more conscious of how my choices affect more than just myself. Cheating is easy and selfish, but nothing worth having comes from that path. Think twice before making that mistake, walk away if you can not exercise and reciprocate being faithful. The easiest way to avoid adding “what ifs,” and further complicating life is by being honest.

No one wants to be the reason a person has trust issues. This changes how you treat people down the road and we have all met someone who blames an ex for not being able to take people at their word. A trusting heart is a treasure that is hard to find once it is lost.


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